God made tits super-duper sexy.

What? Can I get some goddam context over here?! Stay with me, it’s coming. Social media really does spew up some interesting viewpoints.

I like to hang out on LinkedIn.

(Jesus fucking Christ.)

My excuse is it’s for business but I have met some normal-ish people on there. I let it slide that it’s glitchy as fuck and that the bots will literally ban you for using the word ‘bosoms’. (That’s a true story, btw and one that leads me to this post.)

As a ‘professional’ platform, you can imagine it has its fair share of old white dudes, freely and confidently giving their opinions, often on things they know little or nothing about.

I think men are socialised from birth to be confident and have the kind of self-belief that women aren’t encouraged to have. I talk about that stuff in more detail here.

I mention this demographic time and time again because they are nearly always the ones to patronise me, offer unsolicited advice, and harass me online.

If anyone knows of any other group of humans that does this more, please do let me know.

Anyhoo…

I made some comment (on my own damn post) about the sexualisation of women’s ta-tas. To which an old white dude chimes, “I think you’re overreacting. No, ‘we’ didn’t sexualise them, god did.” Now, he might have been trying his hand at cracking a funny. I ignored his condescending opener—let’s give him the benefit of the doubt.

I dunno about you but as a woman, I love to be told I’m overreacting. It thrills me nearly as much as being told to calm down. That shit makes me wet.

I have no idea if he had designs on stand-up.

And I guess I’ll never know. I’ve only responded to him once before when he made some other weird, is-he-being-a-dick? comment on another post. So I don’t know him enough to say whether his humour is an acquired taste.

God loves titties.

Let’s assume he/she/they love ’em some knockers.

Let’s not even contemplate the idea that god might be a social construct. Ignore the fact that we, of course, would laugh heartily at people who might believe in, let’s say, dragons, fairies and ghosts but god, sure, god sounds like a perfectly sensible notion.

Hell, it’s part of the fabric of our society, we still swear on the bible for the love of, well, god.

So, for the purpose of this article, let’s pretend god loves bangers.

If that’s the case, can you explain to me why it would be pertinent for a newborn to find the hooters of its own mother, sexy? Because how I see it (and as a woman, what the fuck do I know?) feeding babies are what fun bags are for. The fact that other humans find them enticing, is just a happy accident.

I guess the sexual desires of a certain group have distorted reality.

The guy was either being hilarious or obtuse.

For a man of about 70, I found it really hard to believe that he’d gone through all that living, never considering why women’s bodies, especially their tits, are policed, and in a way that men’s tits aren’t.

If the thought ever crossed his blinkered mind, did he really believe that they were sexualised from day dot?

Am I to understand that he thinks a culture, which for centuries has forced women to cover up, whilst simultaneously exploiting their physical attributes for profit, gratification, and titillation has no impact on the way they are judged?

That a woman who shows too much or too little, has her very character scrutinised, by both men and women? I guess this man knows more about it than the rest of us. Fuck history, this guy has opinions.

All this is exhausting, isn’t it?

Yes.

In the same comment, I said summat else about misogyny and bigotry being rife on LinkedIn, guess what, same old white dude pipes up AGAIN:

“I disagree that misogyny and bigotry are rife on this platform…”

And as an old white dude, he would absolutely know. Hold up everyone, this guy doesn’t think this is a problem on here. We’re all just getting over-emotional—as per. He hasn’t experienced misogyny OR bigotry so it can’t possibly exist on the good-ship LinkedIn.

Excuse me, can I order some self-awareness for this old white dude, please?

Thanks.

Like to get this shit in the mail?